I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
