After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
