I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
