Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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