somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
