Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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