Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
