At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
