That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
