I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
