you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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