You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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