Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are we still banned from the library?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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