I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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