shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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