I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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