Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize