and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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