My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
