$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
