he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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