TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize