yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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