please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
