I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
