Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
