No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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