Well apparently he's into motor boating.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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