She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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