Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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