after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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