We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
