What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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