Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
