He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
