no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
