i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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