Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
