But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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