it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
