The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
