im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
