I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
