My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
