Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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