you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
