Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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