ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
