i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
