We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
