I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
