I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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