I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ketchup is God's man juice
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
