Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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