Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think your dad took our porno
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
