The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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