Kiss
Puke
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
