...so i touched it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize