I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
