i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What a dumb baby whore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
