I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
