I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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